One thing that can be said with certainty is that humans are very peculiar creatures. The psychology behind how we think, how we connect things, and how we act are topics that could be talked about indefinitely. But above all, specifically monogamous relationships and why they fail so often.
Generally, we have known about monogamy since the beginning of time. And, in a way, the concept of a monogamous relationship is engraved in us from an early age, whether we wanted it or not.
When we exclude our parents and close family from the picture, the environment, and society as such display monogamous relationships all the time. Therefore, we think that monogamy comes naturally to us. But is that really the case? Are we perhaps taught to think that way?
There are three main things which we all want in life:
- Stability
- Love
- Happiness
All of the above-mentioned things are fulfilled to some extent by having an intimate relationship with someone.
Although we are all looking for love in life, does that unconditionally mean looking for one person? Not really.
The biggest reason why people break up and/or get a divorce is due to cheating. So does that make us monsters? Or maybe it’s natural for us to have more partners?
If you don’t want to hire a divorce lawyer, or a criminal attorney if it goes really south, maybe it is best to communicate in advance with both yourself and your partner about what are your expectations and how you can keep together during upcoming hardships.
The Reality of Relationships
Whoever you ask what was their relationship like at the very beginning, everyone will unanimously say perfect. Approximately the first six months of any relationship are rainbows and sunshine, rightfully so.
The beginning of any relationship is known as the “butterfly phase“ Since you are just starting to get to know the person, everything they say and do is interesting.
Naturally, you are overly enthusiastic, happy and in love and everything seems perfect and you think you will live happily ever after. And then the “butterfly phase” passes, and reality hits you.
In theory, of course, we are all aware that a relationship requires a lot of effort and investment, but we do not know how difficult it is to maintain one until we feel it on our skin.
Generally, in today’s world, young people get into relationships very easily without actually understanding what they are signing up for.
First and foremost, to be in an intimate relationship requires that you as a person are emotional and mentally stable. And then you are ready to enter into a relationship and start building a future with someone.
Although that’s a fact, and it sounds nice on paper, this doesn’t represent the reality at all. Thus it is no wonder how many people break up because they are not ready for it.
Separate but Equal
Although women and men equally want love, there are some differences in the way they go around searching for it.
For instance, girls experience more pressure to secure a long-term partner in their twenties. On the other side, boys are pressured by society to find a sexual partner as soon as possible.
Ironically, for men, the same long-term partnership is seen as unwanted.
The reality is that men have much more room to just have fun, enjoy life, and change girls as they please when they are younger, while women have more opportunities.
We are all familiar with the fact that men who sleep around with no strings attached are labeled as cool guys among friends and peers. And in society, they will be very much accepted and even praised for doing so.
On the other side, if a woman wants to change partners and enjoys her youth, she will be considered an easy girl. No one will take her seriously and she will get all kinds of derogatory labels from society.
As people age, the options for both men and women become narrowed and both sexes try to compensate with things like plastic surgery or sports cars.
We can all agree that society and this world is, to some extent, more acceptable and open-minded than ever before, for all kinds of relationships. And we still manage to condemn, judge, and insult girls who want to do the same things as boys.
Happiness as Parameter
One thing that can be said with certainty is that we are very judgmental beings. And that in itself is not a problem. But, the problem arises when we push our noses where they do not belong.
There is an imaginary rule in society that being in a monogamous relationship is the only right way. And, that if you are single or if you are in a polygamous relationship there’s something wrong with you.
The parameter for a successful relationship is not the number of partners you have but whether you are happy or not. If you are just in it for the numbers, we propose gambling slots are the most popular right now, and there you have the thrill of things lining up as well, but with less emotional repercussions.
Whether you have one partner, five of them or non, if you are happy that’s all that matters. Don’t let other people’s opinions affect you. At the end of the day, it is not their place to interfere.
Just as no one should discriminate and judge another human based on their skin color, gender, and race, it should also not judge on their sexual preferences and sexual partners.
We live in 21 century and the fact that we must keep repeating this to raise awareness is absolutely insane.
